Life...do I have a choice?

Do we really have any choice in life, or is this just an illusion that life deals us?

Last nite, I asked myself "Do I believe that I really have a choice in life?"

Without even thinking, I answered myself, of course I do..... but then..."I believe that in life all is predestined," other half of me said almost sadly.

I felt like "my other side" shattered all my illusions and left me wondering if my thoughts were correct. "I do have choices," I protested. " I decide what to do with my life," I told my other half. " I decide if I want to go to work or stay home. I decide if I want to have friends or be home alone."

I heard from my other half saying that it is already predestined how long I am going to live. And I only act in accordance with that plan.

"It doesn't seem right, that we worry and fret and get so involved in decision making, only to find out that it was already decided for us what will occur or what the outcome will be, before we even get there."We need the illusion in order to push forward....betulkah?"

I have read in an article saying something like "we need to develop our soul with experience which were chosen for us. By thinking we have a choice, we develop our character and fulfil our necessary tasks here on this earthy plane."....

"We do have a choice whether we think we do or don't know we do.""It only appears that we do, " my other half said. We are the sum of our experiences, and we can only respond from that place which we know. If we were loved as children, we have learned how to love. We have learned to love ourselves, and as a result we know how to love others. But on the other hand, had we been abused as children, we will surely grow up abusing others. So you see, our choices are very limited.But I feel that when Allah created us, Allah gave us free will, and we have the choice of exercising that free will.

You see, I don't believe that we are victims of our past. I feel that we do have a choice of leaving the past, forgiving our parents, our children ( in future lah kan) or our friends, and even our enemies. That does not mean forgetting, but forgiving, so that we can go on with our lives.

As long as we hold that anger, and blame others for our present, we will be stuck in the victims' mode, and we become emotionally paralyzed and pay the price physically. But I believe by taking back our power, we can choose the right fork in the road.

But whatever you decide to do was already programmed in the book of life. Kuasa Allah yg mengatasi segala-galanya.....Allahuakbar!